#we all know parents have favorite
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Who is Splinter's favorite son?
imo historically it's always Apirl Every Splinter is a varying degree of good to bad father, and imo I'm trying to make a well balanced has no favorites Splinter. Because imo Splinter dedicating time to groom Leo for head of the family =/= favorite son. He's literally prepping his children for his death whenever that may happen. In my version the son he gets to spend the most one on one fun time with is Mikey but that rare because most of the time most if not all of them are hanging out together. But tbh on just vibes my heart says the secret favorite is Raph
#ask me anything#tmnt#we all know parents have favorite#tbh it SHOULD be donnie#but my heart says its Raph i dont know *why*
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eos pt. 1
#I LITERALLY PUT THE APPLE BACK AND HE STILL WENT AFTER MY ASS WTF#i lost my stamina band bc of that and ive been trying to find another one ever since GOD DAMN IT#i wasnt expecting to get an egg either. are we parents now??? what do we do with a 9 month old toddler????????#i already knew a bit abt this game from my pokeask days so i know not to trust dusknoir but i dont actually know why#i just know that he probably does know me for some reason and that hes probably leaving smth out abt grovyle#chatot makes me think of the kind of manager who stresses self care days and has phone numbers for mental health#services in his email signature and then makes me work overtime anyway. human (pokemon?) resources chatot#i dont do much with the extra team members either. i have a sandshrew named Dune whos been on for the longest time#but im really picky abt who i recruit. i wanna recruit a dratini for sure though theyre one of my favorites#ummmmm im on chapter 11 rn and i love all of my guild mates and mugging random pokemon in dungeons#my art#myart#doodles#pokemon mystery dungeon#pmd#marmalade#neptune#pokemon#pokemon oc#eos
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It's taking me ages to write this chapter because every time I look through old VODs / notes to check something, I come across moments like this that make me want to lie down face-first on the floor:
[Context: Pac commits to the idea of taking the Happy Pills so he can create a cure. He's about to write a note to Cellbit to explain his plan.]
Pac: If Cellbit puts himself in this position, it's worse for everyone, because Cellbit is smarter when it comes to coming up with strategic plans, so he is the thinking mind of the Favela Five group, so if he no longer has the mind, he’s not capable of solving this whole problem, you know? But if I put myself in this position to help Cellbit so he can get the cure... You understand? It's better if I'm the bait. Right? I can't- I can't carry things alone guys, I've already lost Mike [...] if I lose Cellbit and I alone had to carry things, I won't be able to. But I think Cellbit can manage better. He is more independent, and he has Roier. He has a husband. I'm trying to– to be lucid here, understand? That's all.
Date: September 11, 2023 || Timestamp: 03:10:10
#i talk#qsmp talk#Oh Pac... :((((#I know the Happy Pills arc is soured for a lot of us (for valid reasons) but I still love it because of how vital it is to Pac's character#This arc is what solidified him as my favorite character. He was so brave and he's so full of love and grief#Aghh. Those self-worth issues man... :(((#Pac cubito I carry you in my heart forever and ever and always#fic talk#I don't know if it's funny or miserable that whenever I fact-check myself thinking#''Am I misremembering this / misrepresenting this? Is this too grim?''#The answer is no I hit it dead center#I love Pac's dynamic with all the Favela members but Pac and Cellbit's relationship dynamic has so many layers#it's fascinating to explore#Especially since in the stream before this he had a complete breakdown because he was terrified Cell was going to come back#Love and fear and friendship and anger and hate and healing...#So many layers#The murderer who once mauled him who he left to die#Now a dear friend and co-parent of his son#It's fascinating#What breaks my heart is when Cellbit finds out Pac took the Happy Pills a few days later and they have a confrontation#Cellbit tells him ''You were my only hope- the only scientific person who could create a cure; how are we supposed to save you?''#''We still had one another and now I'm alone!'' <– As always please take my translation with a grain of salt#But man. MAN.... Pac saying Cellbit will be fine he can handle things on his own and he has Roier#vs. Cellbit having the same fears of being left alone#I wonder if; even for a moment; he remembered what it felt like when Pac (e Mike) abandoned him on that Island after Fuga#Obviously he realized / later learned why Pac took the pills but AGH!!!!!!!!!! It hurts.#I wish they logged on at the same time more frequently I WISH we got to see them interact more#I can't really explore this too much in the Fit Pac fic but I am delving into it in the Pac fic#I don't think I'll go as in-depth with the Happy Pill stuff as I'm doing in this fic though. This has been exhausting. It's a heavy arc#(Stream date: September 13 2023 || Timestamp 1:34:00 for Cellbit's POV of that conversation btw)
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Imagine how your f/o wraps gifts, be it for the holidays or just your birthday.
Are they really good? Is it a clean wrap first try or do they need to scrap the whole thing couple time to get it correct?
Are they really bad? Do they try their hardest but you can still see bits poking out?
Do they use ribbon? Stick on bows?
Plain or patterned paper?
Or maybe they'll use bags!
Do they tape it shut or fill it with paper then?
There are so many things to choose...!
#you should tell me all about it in the tags btw i wanna hear ^^#for me it would depend...#if it was pomme then she would be such a sweat at it. they would be perfectly wrapped and have like. ribbon and a bow#they would look almost too cute to rip apart#she would also use red plaid for everyone other than me. mine would be star themed ^^#caramel would use bags i love her but she cannot wrap a gift to save her life#metal is a robot. its gunna be precise and all wrapped with star themed paper and no ribbon.#they know its not my favorite thing to take off unless i can untie it and keep it#⭐️stardust hourglass🌙#[♦️we meet again♦️]#[🧋]#f/o imagines#f/o imagine#selfship#OH I FORGOR MY PARENTS!!!#uhhhh sound w. would definitely wrap it all up#in like plain purple or paper with cute snowflakes on it. they really like snow its one of their favorite things about earth!#shock w. just puts it in a bag#he does not care about holidays that much. the only reason he partakes is because sound w. forces him to#not because he doesn't care about me and lazer but bc it takes so much time out of his work#platonic f/o#romantic f/o#ok im done
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any thoughts about how could it be the dynamic between viserys-naerys- daeron ii in fire & blood 2?
okay so straight up the dynamic i’m MOST interested in learning about in f&b2 is the viserys-naerys-daeron ii dynamic. first of all, those first two are just UNGODLY DISTURBINGLY YOUNG when they have children. viserys has naerys, his YOUNGEST child when he is sixteen. naerys has daeron when she is fifteen. viserys is a grandfather before he is 32 years old. it is truly babies raising babies out here!! i mean fuck, daeron has baelor under significantly less traumatic circumstances but he’s still only 17 by the time he starts having kids! that’s all just wildly interesting and disturbing to me. like, that alone, how close in age they all are because they all married & started having kids at crazy young ages, explains so much about why this period has always felt particularly deranged to me (“this period” being post dance where we get this incredible string of deranged freaks from aegon iii to aegon iv that ebbs into this vaguely “we’re having a targ renaissance yay” era that erupts into civil war anyways! i LOVE this conceptually i’m so ready to be annoyed when f&b2 comes out and i’ve hyped this all up for some more dumb sex stories from another court fool ajsjs).
but then secondly, okay, when you look at the timeline- daeron is born in 153 and the birth nearly kills naerys 15/16 year old naerys. aegon iii is still king for four more years. that last year, aegon iv spends his time (and the next two years after that) shacked up with megette. then aegon spends a few years shacked up/probably raping casella vaith the hostage, before running off to war. then he spends more time raping naerys, wherein she has a miscarriage, and aegon is sent away so he doesn’t rape her to death. daeron marries myriah, has a child with her. but before that child is two, in quick succession, his father comes back home & immediately starts raping his mother again, his mother nearly dies having twins & now he has a sister younger than his son, and daena unveils her new bastard who everyone thinks is aegon’s, and baelor is so distraught by all this he fasts himself to death. viserys is king, and likely dead before daeron’s second son is born and before daeron turns twenty. suddenly the person responsible for making sure aegon doesn’t rape naerys to death are daeron & aemon, who have NO authority over aegon. this man has the audacity to stay alive for twelve more years.
that shit is insane. daeron’s father is only around when he’s raping his mom. the closest things daeron has to a father figure are his uncle who wants to fuck his mom, his grandfather who is probably busy constantly (and also only in his thirties 😭), and his batshit insane cousin baelor. his childhood is marked by almost constant instability until it stabilizes for the worse when his cousins all get locked in the maidenvault, then gets thrown into upheaval once again as baelor & viserys die and now his dad who is only around when he’s raping his mom is suddenly back in town and has total control.
and naerys. she’s like if aemma lived long enough to parent her kids, but worse bc you could argue there was fondness of a sort between aemma & viserys. aegon and naerys hate each other. she is constantly pregnant and on death’s door from the age of fifteen (three years older than her father!) until the day she dies, in her early 40s. it sounds like worse than hell to me. it is a lifetime where the only source of comfort you have is the son you birthed at fifteen, because maybe your life is a nightmare but if you raise him to be marginally less evil, he won’t destroy the innocent little girl you know is going to be sent to court to be his wife. everyone else is actively holding you hostage and applauding you for taking the abuse so well. your whole life is screaming for help and all you get is tears telling you you’re so dutiful and brave.
and viserys just. watches it all happen. of course he does! his kids are simply ungrateful! he had to get married at twelve and his wife wasn’t born in westeros so they had nothing in common and at least they have a living father, they have no idea how lucky they are. why should daeron and naerys blame him when he gave them everything because he had nothing? it’s a shame it wasn’t naerys that offed this man. i do think she was his favorite kid tho and i bet he’s not subtle about it at all.
#like obviously we all know i have mixed feelings about the way they did nyra & ali’s ages but i do think the focus on how traumatic#forced child marriage & forced child-parenting is yet how NORMAL that suffering is. like THAT was a GREAT decision.#there’s so much crqzy shit cooking here i know it#and this isn’t even touching Being Naerys And Daeron When Aegon IV Is King.#asks#anons#viserys ii targaryen#naerys targaryen#daeron the good#also i don’t think naerys has a favorite child bc daeron & daenerys are like 18 years apart so she has very different relationships w them.#ntm she’s dead before daenerys is all that old.#if you asked daeron if public who his favorite dad is he will say baelor. but tbh#he thinks all of those guys were fucking morons. he will never claim a favorite child either.#but he definitely has one and he Has told myriah who his favorite is when they pillow talked one night.#they do Not have the same favorite child.#i would honestly love the idea of viserys plotting to kill aegon so daeron comes right after him but aegon just beats him to the punch.#i think that would be genuinely hilarious. i have no earthly idea how george is gonna characterize viserys as an adult tho.
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I think being stuck at home for months is starting to get to me
#vent#i need to get out so bad and WITHOUT my mother being there#i want to go to my favorite park gdi#i want to go for a DRIVE#i'm suffocating like this#we finally got the corolla over here but there's a bunch of little things wrong with it too OTL#that being said we still don't know if it's the head gasket or something worse#all this car stress is getting to me too#on top of the current political climate#AND MY SHITTY PARENTS TOO#i'm losing it i swear to fucking god#this is going to be a lot of money and yeah we're better now that we're not paying for a lemon#but a head gasket repair can be well over 1k and i have no idea how long it'll take to save that up#i can't do this anymore#we can't keep ordering groceries and relying on my fucking mother for rides#anyway i had to get this all out i'm fine or w/e
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love how hua cheng is just like "I support xie lian rights and xie lian wrongs, except he can never do anything wrong ever even when he kills a bunch of people. Go off king" and Xie Lian is like “This is my beautiful husband, he has committed war crimes, but haven’t we all?”
And their relationship is somehow healthier than anything I've ever been in.
#emma posts#to be fair everything involving me didn’t have me aware that it was a thing#but I couldn’t compete anyway#tcgf#is it dating someone if they never told you they were dates and you misinterpreted them?#not asking for a friend#this is just straight up every situation I’ve been in#that’s as close as I’ve ever actually gotten to dating someone#I’ve witnessed plenty of other people’s relationships though#‘we’ve been dating for six months’ ‘those were dates?!’ ‘you asked me out first’ ‘and you rejected me!’ <- closest to dating I’ve been#all the other times I didn’t even ask the person out first. the just flat out never said it was a date and I thought we were just chilling#and all the other times I’ve asked someone out they rejected me and then DIDN’T ask me out without telling me they were asking me out#how was I supposed to know he changed his mind?#I’m still not over how I didn’t know we were dating until after we broke up#just the sheer comedy of my love life gets to me#comedy of errors ass love life#I’m getting really side tracked#Xie Liana’s friends were totally reasonable to think that someone stalking someone for several centuries is alarming#but somehow those two had it happen in the healthiest way possible???#I respect it tbh#only healthy relationship I’ve ever had that much sheer dedication in is me and my favorite cat which is a very maternal relationship#and i didn’t even actually kill the people who threatened him. they weren’t real threats but they knew they did psychological damage#to this day I wish I bit them until I tasted blood#but being in detention with them would have meant being around them longer than I had to be 😑#they have probably changed a lot since then but I still never want to see them again in my life#that might actually have played a slight role in how feral I get about protecting my cat 🐈⬛#I’m getting into personal issues again#our co-dependent parental dynamic. me and my cat. is perfectly healthy and I will not change it#said by someone who is not healthy but definitely will not change this specific thing#and the co-dependency is in fract mutual. that’s why it’s CO dependent
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Sonic symphony was fun if I ignore the fact that my parents were with us and being absolute killjoys
Had a blast singing along to the songs, watching the video presentations for the orchestral movements (two new ones were added for our showing!!!) and just being there. Wish I could repeat the experience but change a couple of *ahem* details but alas, I think I should prioritize getting my own place instead
Bonuses:

Nobody was able to see my cool socks :(

Was getting the stare down while eating lunch
#personal#sonic symphony#it was good but it would have been a better experience for me and my sisters without my parents#they announced the last song and played i'm here revisited (my favorite version)#then when the applause was going on and the theater was still dark my parents told us it was time to leave#then they started playing can you feel the sunshine while we waited for my dad in the bathroom#there was coincidentally a pride event going on yesterday in Orlando and my parents kept making all these negative comments#my [homophobic] dad: why did you have to pick this day for the concert? me and my sister: we didn't KNOW#oh and my mom was reading a book during the show#but looked up when Mephiles showed up during all hail shadow#so she asked in the car ride home about that#I described 06 as a piece of work and that that guy wasn't Shadow but a being that took on his form#cuz she described it as Shadow fighting himself but he wasn't him and he went nuclear#I ain't gonna break down the complicated mess that is the plot of 06 or that that was a severed half of a deity to my parents#ESPECIALLY since I have drawn said deity#he is two notes away from 30 tho and there's a couple of reblog tags that I enjoyed :)
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1 2 7 8 for the movie questions :]
Jack!!!!!!
what is your favorite film of all time?
Gotta be my most beloved Lawrence of Arabia <3 I think its genuinely one of, if not the best films of all time in general, but personally, its been pretty influential in my life and interests. ITS SO BEAUTIFUL AND AMAZING AND GOOD AND GORGEOUS AND COOL AND CINEMATIC AND I THINK ABOUT IT EVERY DAY AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH....I mean it's the header of my blog for a reason! Maybe I should go watch it again...
2. what movie do you wish you could unwatch?
Well you see, even if I dislike a film, I sometimes enjoy the experience of it still bcs it ended up being funny to watch with other people, since I often end up commentating over movies with my family especially. However recently, I watched the movie Jerry Maguire, and it bored me so fucking bad that I couldn't even bear to put it on my Letterboxd. Funnily enough, I also regret watching Eyes Wide Shut just as much. Do I just hate Tom Cruise 😭😭😭
7. name a movie you’re emotionally attached to?
Interstellar <3 Even just thinking about it, especially the bookshelf scene near the end, has me tearing up
8. what’s your comfort film?
This is tough because I generally don't rewatch films all that much, but maybe A New Hope??? I could watch that over and over again, its so classic and comforting
#lawrence of arabia being my all time favorite is very funny though bcs it was my parents' absolute fav when they were my age#i am turning into them.....#this is just for you jack but im still pissed I entered you know who's class a week late#bcs i got the courage to ask him HEY HAVE YOU SEEN LAWRENCE OF ARABIA#bcs it was also my favorite movie over a year ago now. and I NEEDED TO KNOW IF HE KNEW IT. and he said they had discussed it the first week#so now im forever bereft of hearing his thoughts about it </3 though ig I can ask him about it again someday ehehe#anyways itll tickle me if we both somehow manage to make our capstones about our respective beloved films <3#bcs lawrence has definitely influenced me academically icl#catie.asks.
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fascinating revelations out of my dad's professional coaching of the whole family today
my mom scored astonishingly high on empathy and caring for a woman who seemed to find it next to impossible to express that to me
my dad has done an insane amount of work to be so warm and personable considering that his natural inclination is towards strong reserve rooted in anxiety (just like me!!)
my sister shocked - SHOCKED 🙄 - to learn that she scores almost zero in empathy AND very high on manipulation
actually shocking reveal that my sister always knew she was my mom's favorite. like I kind of assumed she was mean to both of us but apparently most of the biting comments were for me
#in regard to number 3 I'm like bestie. you think you're the protagonist of the world. you tried to get me to come out to our parents#as a way to manipulate them into being happier for you for your engagement#you have a movie script in mind for your life and you try to get others to fit it#of COURSE you're low in empathy and high in manipulation#the mom's favorite thing was actually very surprising to me to hear bc i've never thought about it that way#mom's attitude towards me was so pervasive to my experience of childhood that i never considered that i had it worse than her#vis a vis getting chewed out and in trouble and snapped at and criticized constantly#the impression i got was that mom thought i was a crybaby and fragile and forgetful and dowdy and needy#my sister by contrast was the kind of girlboss my mom could like more easily#(i do wonder then that mom's bestie is a lot like me)#i know my sister got some Mom Comments and impatience and fighting too but it doesn't seem to have stuck with her so much#i dunno how i feel about it all#a lot and i mean A Lot to consider#also learned my sister doesn't really remember our grandma on mom's side and picked up a vibe that she's sad about it#i was a little dismissive in the moment of the idea that she was doting bc i remember her being very brisk and exacting#but i think like my mom she cared a lot but found it hard to express it in ways that weren't like. providing. keeping things shipshape#not very demonstrative and pretty intimidating to a kid#but i still do remember a few good things about her; note to self to tell T those stories#looking at cardinals on the deck. the roofing project. her painting my sister's nails. watching lion king and the old cinderella with us#good moments#it makes me think of the way mom used to really put care into giving us thoughtful gifts but she'd hardly ever play with them with us#i think it would have gone a long way with me at that age if she'd been willing to take the initiative rather than wait to be invited#i always thought that she knew so much and what she could do was so cool; i just never felt comfortable asking#bc she didn't seem like you could just ask her to come have fun#meanwhile my dad Knew a lot less stuff and had fewer cool hobbies but he was goofy and fun and willing to get on the floor#i think i understand why they were the way they were but still im frustrated#bc like t was saying today. now that mom's retired she's actually fun?? she's not stressed and angry all the time and she has time for us?#or at least for my sister anyway... but i will agree; she seems a lot happier#and i wish she'd been able to be happier when we were younger#neither me nor my sister came out of that with anything close to secure attachment
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finally watched through some of the ppyong april fools story bc a kind soul uploaded it to yt (here with their twit and other uploads here) and the way i would have had to fuck satan up. like we'd have to fight immediately.
so tldr if u dont wanna watch through the vid first cause im just rambling here, on april fools devils all have something strange happen to them for a day (ex: paimon getting cat ears and a tail), with zagan putting his talismans on the backs of gehenna devils as a way to warn them of their little daily quirk that has to be ripped if you want to avoid whatever is written (would like to know how he knows this but not important rn). you, the mc, even get one bc ofc for the time being you're a resident of hell





bro we would have had to TUSSLE. FULL BLOWN SCHOOLYARD FIGHT. even as much as sitri didn't want to let you go he was still ready to let you make the choice considering its only for a day and it was...your talisman. a day on earth isnt even like a full day in hell either itd be like what a few hours??? and then satan LEFT right after making that choice for you like cmon. my best friend's been missing me for months and u dont even have the audacity to let me swing by the house for a min? its gonna be a grand slam
#cliffnotes/.txt#whb#and satans usually my favorite king too 😭#but this had me hot#i would have been full blown boo hoo crying#we aint talkin for the rest of the month dont even look me in the eyes#and the fact that the last time u saw minhyeok at home he wasnt even alive.#if u discount the halloween event the last time before that u saw him lying dead on the ground.#in a pool of blood just like the mcs parents.#edit: realized zagan probs doesnt know at all what's going to happen his sole job is just to place the talismans#and they do the rest themselves
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I actually have a fic idea but lc is a show that's like. you will never ever have all the information and context until the end. and I am a writer who writes best and more confidently when I have all the info and context at my fingertips. so now I'm just like 🧍♂️
anyway. ramble in the tags
#mine musings#not tagging etc etc#it's an AU so it shouldn't even matter actually. but. whatever. i'll still try to write it. it'll take a while#it's more like character exploration anyway. a role reversal (my favorite kind of au)#i.e. what would the emma case look like if cxs is the one who keeps timelooping to save lg?#it's not a power swap or personality swap so i think it'll be an interesting exploration of the limits of their personalities#for example: in this au i think lg is still protective of cxs and acts as the guide. but he's closer to og!timeline lg#so i'm thinking that he's still very principled but perhaps less strict about doing small deviations from the timeline#cxs is still empathetic and reckless and i think that would actually get worse in a timelooping cxs#since he's the possessor he rationalizes to himself that he gets to shield lg from the messy parts of an operation#and how this self-matyrdom pulls at the fragile trust they have. because their partnership is never equal when someone is timelooping#i'm thinking in like the emma case this all comes to a head when emma gets the text from her parents#in S1 lg tells him “it's better not to look”#i think in this au. cxs would have already honed his acting skills and be like “lg. does she check the phone?”#and lg who is protective but a little naive and not as strict with rules is like#cxs looks so sad :( he's been missing his parents lately :( emma doesn't see the text until tomorrow but...#this probably won't change the timeline too much... right? i think cxs needs to feel loved right now :) “yes she checks her phone”#and cxs is like “... are you sure?”#lg: “yes i'm sure”#and then post-dive cxs finds out emma dies but he doesn't tell lg :) he just keeps it to himself :)#bc it's his job to handle all the messy parts :) like the emotions of their clients. their regrets and obsessions. their fates#in his mind. the more lg knows the more he tries to sacrifice himself to save cxs. so it's important that lg is kept in the dark#something something actor/scriptwriter metaphors idk still working on the idea#just. role reversal shiguang... cxs who keeps timelooping bc he has abandonment issues so he can't handle lg dying...#lg basically is like 9S from nier automata who always dooms himself by learning the truth#this could've been a read more instead of a tag essay i'm sorry. i keep forgetting that feature. i am a yapper in the tags#cxs after dragging lg out for dinner so he doesn't catch the news: “hey lg. we followed the script to a tee right?”#“i didn't forget any lines or anything?”#lg (confused) (lying): “yes. aside from getting the financial data part. we did everything right.”#cxs: “okay 😊 i trust you 😊 past or future let them be”
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Was having so much fun replaying p3p that I forgot that this game is bad lol
#the klock keeps ticking#i gotta get my ranting gear on its happening again#just got to the part where its revealed that shadow experiments happened at the school 10 years prior#and yeah its as badly written as I remember lol#like first off it really is just kinda like ‘ah yes the kirijo group experimented on kids and created the dark hour and we’re being#recruited to clean up their mess’ and the only one who seems to care is yukari but then like#oooh she cant be mad after all cuz her dad was in on it or whatever#and my favorite fucking guy Ikutski is there with a smile like ah yes yes the fucked up shit ah well anyways lets keep fighting lol#and its like briefly mentioned so fucking casually that mitsurus family involved her in this shit and forced her to awaken to a persona#when she was like 8 and you know. now she has to act as a tool to clean up their mess#and it’s like hold up now. why arent we talking about this aaaaaaa just gonna drop that bomb and leave#my favorite fucking part though is like afterwards all the little scenes we get of the characters processing this information#none really seeming to care all that much about the fucked up part theyre just like ‘damn the dark hour is gonna end’#and we get some of that iconic p3 dialogue where characters just look into the camera and explain their trauma before walking away#akihiko just goes up to shinji to be like ‘hey lol remember that we’re both orphans and thats how we know each other and also my sister#anyway Keep Looking Forward™️ bye’ and then fuuka looks into the camera like#‘yes btw my parents have an inferiority complex and thats why they abuse me which is why i dont mind being manipulated’#like she just. says that its so funny this game was written by a toaster#its so frustrating cuz the conflict could be so interesting but they handle it soooo boring and ignore all the parts that shouldnt be#oh mitsuru dont worry ill write you a better game to be in#come to the fat lesbian party where we kill the kirijo group with hammers
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when i first watched coraline i didn't notice this or like it must have stayed subconscious but her mother (the real one, at the beginning) is so much like mine
#but it wasn't scary (that my mom even had the same haircut at the time. etc) cause i realized this later. cause i was a kid#and that's why the movie as a whole was scary.. i know i felt like my mother always had too much on her shoulders and like i was a#burden to her and the whole story being about losing your parents and having to fend for yourself#but losing them because someone offered something nicer like less neglect and dismissal ? and then that turns out to not be real#because you don't get better parents and everyone has their faults and it's scary when a kid (the developing self) has to face that the#protectors are fallible and will not always do the protecting ..#something about that. it's scary and bad the grow up and realize things either way (whether your parents are too far or too close to you)#but we all have to do it and obviously you're better when you're over it. idk#truly my favorite children's horror movie..#kata.txt#*'to' instead of 'the' 🙄#her iron lung
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My mom got home and immediately handed me an ipod classic and said "[Patient] told me her ipod won't hold a charge anymore, so I told her you might be able to fix it, or at least show her how to rip the music library onto her computer"
and I said . "I've told you to stop telling people I can help them with technology ."
And then I noticed the ipod actually still had a full battery (but I'm sure, like my barely functioning ipod classic, within a few seconds-minutes the battery would die), so I glanced through the menus, mostly because I still feel very nostalgic for using ipods & find the tactile buttons/audible clicking/whirring to be a lot more appealing than keeping music on a purely touchscreen torture nexus, but I was also curious about how recent the music this patient listens to is
So I said . "Oh hey, she has Rick Astley on here!"
And after a few minutes she goes . "I have that fucking Rick Astley song stuck in my fucking head." and I laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed
#erin talks#text#footnotes:#1) I do actually keep music on my phone; there's 8848 songs on it & my phone regularly informs me we have less than 10% storage left#& I say <3 eat my entire ass [company] . I've been using spotify in recent yrs so I can use my music apps for audiostories#2) I know you can replace ipod batteries but it requires shit like soldering wires & I don't feel comfortable trying that#& I think I'd have to drive at least 2 hours to find someone I could pay to do it for me . which would still run the risk of destroying#the components that aren't being mass-produced anymore & are difficult to find#3) I unironically like never gonna give you up & used to listen to it for fun when I was really little . same with careless whisper#4) I wasn't Trying to get the song stuck in her head or annoy her when I said it but it was a fun side effect <3#5) I tend to really like songs she hates from her days of working retail & songs being overplayed#my favorite mj songs are the ones that are like . the equivalent of if I had a kid & they loved new rules by dua lipa#I genuinely like them tho it's not me trying to torture her 😭#6) I know everyone born in the 80's onward has the whole 'parent tells ppl they can help with technology thing'#but this specifically is bc when I was like 12 my laptop kicked the bucket & I had to find a way to save 4000+ songs from my ipod#I was very proud that I figured out a solution & didn't have to redownload all that music but like truly all you have to do is google#to see if a program that can do what you want . plz don't tell ppl I can figure anything out let them think I'm a dumb vapid zillenial 😭
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explaining the relationship i have with my father is so complicated and i keep finding myself facing that question when i'm in college bc like. a professor of mine in office hours literally asked me abt my family and i was like. well i can explain. Parts Of This. but it's mega fucking complicated
#ides.txt#i felt weird too because i was discussing it w a friend who has a bad fucking relationship w their dad#and it felt odd to be like.#my dad's in my life but also did nothing for me. he's not technically negligent but didn't give me the care i needed or at all.#he saved my ass when i came out to my family. we are on very good terms now. i do not feel normally about him.#he has 3 kids and doesn't know how to change a diaper. i think the bad thing i was bracing for in my childhood was him.#i need to impress him and be his favorite child the one who did it right.#i need to see him suffer at the hands of his own mistakes and drown with no one to save him.#and my friend was like Yeah that sounds pretty complicated huh#it's so weird like. yes i love my dad. yes i text him little school updates.#but it never occurred to me that some people can just... ask their dads questions? for help?#that they come to their school events and know all of their friends#that they cook for them and help them with their homework#i don't hate my dad but he's the kind of dad you only ever need when you're 18 years old#i never realized people could have two parents who both did things. you know? i thought you had the Main Parent.#and then the other one. and you never ask the other one.
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